


Sentient Plants

by Just_Call_Me_Floss



Series: Mansion Shenanigans [10]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Charles punches Erik, Crack, Debate on Mutations, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:30:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Call_Me_Floss/pseuds/Just_Call_Me_Floss
Summary: “Hey, if I give my plants tea, would it be classed as cannibalism?”“It’s two in the morning. Go to sleep.”





	Sentient Plants

“Hey, if I give my plants tea, would it be classed as cannibalism?”

 

“It’s two in the morning. Go to sleep.”

 

The room remained dark, the thick curtains blocking out the night sky, yet Charles was alert and awake. Sat up and resting against the headboard, Charles continued to stare out into the nothingness. Whereas, Erik was encouraging his body to fall back into peaceful slumber. He was currently failing.

 

“But Erik,” Charles began again after a few beats of silence, “I don’t want to encourage cannibalism, regardless if it’s only second hand as I am feeding it to them.”

 

“Charles-” Erik groaned, rolling onto his front in a weak attempt of leaving his partners questioning mind.

 

“This is serious Erik,” regardless of what the metal manipulators wishes were, the telepath followed him, now laying on his side, head propped on his arm as he stared down at Erik’s tense form. “If the plants become sentient, would they begin to crave to consume other plants?”

 

“ _ If  _ they become sentient. You answered your own question, Charles.”

 

“Just because I cannot connect with them mentally, does not mean that they don’t have some form of understanding. And, as someone who is so very interested in the mutant race, you cannot rule out plants DNA one day becoming mutated, which could result in them becoming sentient.”

 

“One day, possibly, but do you see that becoming in the next few saplings, huh?” Realising that sleep would be a pointless task right now, Erik rolled onto his back, glaring up at Charles looming above him. 

 

Erik always had good eyesight in the dark, something in which he was very proud of. He could make out Charles’ slightly frustrated expression and couldn’t help at the small smile that tugged at his lips. If the argument wasn’t going in the way Charles envisioned, he would always get annoyed which drew out the small crinkle between his eyebrows and flare up his nostrils. Adorable.

 

“Well, no, it’s not likely, but it is a small possibility. We cannot assume that all mutated cells excel at the same rate.”

 

“Ah yes,” Erik pushed himself up, sitting against the headboard. Charles moved as well, so they sat next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. With a quick flick of the wrist, Erik turned on the lamp closest to him. The two squinted through the sudden warm amber light, but it now illuminated them both to have a proper discussion. “But aren’t you the one who says that the ‘process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years’?”

 

“Don’t use my own words against me!” Charles sounded shocked, turning his head to stare at Erik, who had, infact, been listening to Charles’ multiple mutation rants.

 

“I’m using the words of a great professor I have the pleasure of knowing.” Even without the light on, Charles could’ve heard the smirk in Erik’s voice. 

 

“Who would say that the sudden leap of the millennia wasn’t about to happen, Erik? Huh? Maybe if I give my plants some tea, the next seedlings would begin to crave it, and the saplings after those would begin to actively search out others?” 

 

“Yes, but whereas other creatures with further mutations, such as animals, could move to find the food, what is the possibility of a plant developing a mutation which allows them to both move and become sentient enough to know what craving is?” 

 

Although the two would often debate about anything and everything, it very rarely remained on one topic for more than a few points. It was clear Charles’ genuine concern on cannibalistic plants and Erik’s want to use the Professors research against him.

 

“But there is instances of animals becoming cannibalistic,” Charles’ eyes lit up as he stumbled upon more pointers to back up his argument. “Farmers found that if they fed their chickens egg-shells, the would produce stronger eggs. A unforeseen circumstance was Chickens becoming addicted to eating egg-shells, which resulted in them eating the eggs they had just lain.”

 

“Are you honestly comparing your tomato plants to chickens?” Baffled, Erik couldn’t keep the scoff from his voice. Honestly Charles.

 

“No, but I am supporting my cause in that they become addicted through actions of others. Do you know how farmers stopped chickens from eating the eggs?” Erik remained silent, but shuffled so his body was facing Charles. “They killed the chickens, Erik. They killed them! Imagine what would’ve happened if they hadn’t?”

 

“You have your solution: kill the plants if they begin to consume others!”

 

“No!” Charles’ voice raised, his shoulders squaring and jaw tensing, “if we killed everything with a mutation, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here!”

 

“Yes, but that’s different-” Erik’s angered flared. They were not some measly chickens or tomato plants! They were strong mutants, who would change the world to better for their mutant brothers and sisters!

 

“It is in no way different!” Charles threw off the covers and stood up on the bed, the lamp behind him illuminating his silhouette. Erik remained where he was, raising a questioning eyebrow. “We have no right to act as God and decide when to kill of a mutated species!”

 

“But your precious humans seem it fitting enough to want to kill us, do they not?” Erik saw the following silence as a victory. What he was not expecting was the fist connecting with his jaw, or Charles tumbling off the bed from the force he put into the punch.

 

“Fuck you!” Charles spat out as he gathered his legs underneath him, raising incredibly ungracefully. 

 

“You're the one who punched me!” Shocked, Erik raised a cautious hand to his bruising jaw. “Fuck you!”

 

“No!” Charles leant back over the bed, arms either side of Eriks thighs as he leant close, “fuck you, you twat.” He pushed away, but grabbed the throw from the end of his bed before walking out the room, completely naked. 

 

\------------------

 

It was only ten minutes later that Charles returned, eyes looking wet and red. He stood in the doorway, the lamp still on and Erik still sitting up. The two held eye contact before Erik nodded, and Charles leapt across the room and into Erik’s arms.

 

“I didn’t mean to punch you,” he whispered against Erik’s collarbone, avoiding looking at the purpling bruise on Erik’s jaw. “I’m really sorry.”

 

“I know,  _ liebling _ ,” Erik ran a soothing hand through Charles’ curls, “apology accepted.” 

 

\-------------------

 

Next morning, the children couldn’t stop staring at the bruise. Erik ignored them, finishing his toast without an attempt at an explanation. Charles sat opposite him, head deep in the newspaper, avoiding all eye contact. He only glanced up when Erik stood, taking his plate and mug to the sink. He placed his plate in, but hesitated with the mug. Charles watched as Erik made his way over to the windowsill, mug still in hand, and the Professor screamed as he watched Erik pour his cold tea into the tomato plants which sat in the kitchen window.

 

“Sentient plants!” He scrambled up, knocking the table as he attempted to stop Erik, who was now cackling maniacally. “You dick!”

 

“Revenge!”

 

“No!”

 

The children just watched as the two wrestled, although the mug was already empty. Raven leant over to Hank, and whispered: “please don’t tell me this is a weird way of them fucking?”


End file.
